When I was young,
I wept so much,
no one could feel my pain,
I hoped for a miracle,
to make me smile again.

The wish came to be,
not through love so true,
but in the gesture of giving,
as found in pet rescue.

Every furry body,
brought me happiness and love,
as if God had chosen me himself,
and blessed me with their love.

People often scoffed at me,
and riddled me with scorn,
sometimes I had to wonder why,
I was ever born.

I loved each little kitty,
everyone the same,
each one a special color,
each one a special name.
When I pass to the other side,
no children mourn me here,
but many friends, all of whom,
I feel are so dear.

At Heaven’s gates in splendor,
the portals open wide,
and there, hundreds of furry kittens,
playing there inside.

I pick up a tiny baby,
and hold him to my heart,
we never met each other,
but of each other we are part.

In lofty rooms as I pass by,
I see kitties everywhere,
they venture up and touch me,
with appreciation that they share.

The tears I shed so long ago,
are lessened now in peace,
I know the trials I faced on earth,
now will surely cease.

Everything is beautiful,
no cat is thrown away,
I think I will love it there,
a purrfect place to stay!

© Martha Williams

I Stood By Your Bed Last Night
I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep. I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear, “It’s me, I haven’t left you, I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care. I want to reassure you, that I’m not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said “it’s me.”

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair. I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It’s possible for me to be so near you everyday. To say to you with certainty, “I never went away.”

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew, in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over… I smile and watch you yawning and say “good-night, God bless, I’ll see you in the morning.”

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide, I’ll rush across to greet you and we’ll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out … then come home to be with me.

- Author unknown

It is Christmas Eve day and the Jones family has a new puppy.  The children are excited as the puppy romps and plays amid the packages as colorful lights flash on the tree.  The children are laughing and happy.  Behind the scenes things are not so beautiful. Dad is taking their pet, a 9 year old dachshund, Nicole to a lonely dirt road outside town and puts her out of the car to fend for herself.  The kids, ages4,6, and 8 have been told she will find another home and a new puppy is better, more playful and younger.  After being shoved from the warmth of the car, Nicole is bewildered.  She reasons a mistake has been made and soon her family will notice and come back for her.  No one would deliberately abandon her like this.  She whimpers and walks in a small circle.  Her dark eyes peer down the road as taillilghts fade away.  She has never been out of her yard without a leash.  She stands rigid, afraid to sit down and wanting to be alert when her family returns.  By standing she can see further and better.  Snowflakes balance on her long eyelashes.  From time to time she shakes them off as she strains to see the road in the fading light.  Finally too weary to stand, she lays down.  The ground is cold and wet and she shivers.  Her stomach aches but it is not as empty as her heart.  Way in the distance she spots headlights and reasons it is her family coming back to her.  She is very excited and dances around in anticipation of the reunion where she’ll be picked up and snuggled and warm.  She is barely able to step back to avoid being crushed by a caar that never notices her.  Hours pass, Nicole shivers from the bitter cold, her short coat offering no protection.  She howls like a wolf trying to get another dog to respond to her cries.   She knows she must find a human if she is to survive but is reluctant to leave the spot where she lost her human.  In the distance of the cold night she can hear music.  Music means humans so she finally decides to try and find them.  She is incredibly scared and her wobbly legs barely support her soaking body.

The music is streaming from a small mobile home in the desert.  A small light shown inside.  Hesitantly Nicole whines, barks, once, twice, three times.  The door opens and she can see the silouette of a young boy, his name is Juan.  He shields his eyes to search the area and spots Nicole.  Quickly gathers her up and snuggles her to his chest.  Nicole’s heart is bursting with gratitiude.  He speaks in Spanish to his mother who is equally drawn to Nicole.  They will love and share all they have with Nicole as long as she lives.  Although they have little, they are indeed rich in spirit.  Across town dad returns from his trip to the desert.  The storm clouds are gathering and it is sleeting, the roads freezing over.  He is drinking.  In a miscalculation, he spins out and strikes a light standard and dies instantly.  Later in the week his widow sobs out of control at his funeral.  One of the little children seeks to ease her pain.  In his child voice he whispers, “Don’t worry mom, dad will find a good home and we can get another daddy who will be better and younger, everything will be okay.”

In rescue work we seldom see Yorkies so I was surprised to find one has come to our shelter.  She looked up at me with soft brown eyes that could not belie her pain.  A cursory examination of the dog was disturbing.  She had several mammary tumors and one leg was permanently rigid from birth.  More than anything, she was panting hard indicating a pet in distress.  Her temperature was soaring and she refused water and food.  She was laboring to breathe.  In rescue work, the decision maker must weigh the cost of saving one pet at a high veterinary cost against saving several pets which are proven healthy and viable.  People who donate to us like to believe their money is spent wisely.  I couldn’t bring myself to put this dog down.  The veterinarian gave her the shots, he looked across the table and said “This is one dog you might want to think about not saaving.”  She was put on a nebulizer.

To bolster her spirits we went everyday to see her and finally started picking her up at night and taking her home.  Dozing in a recliner she laid on my lap often seeming not to breathe at all.  I’d lift her up and her tail would barely wag.  I started calling her Yorkie Yay.  Her fever stayed high and an operation was necessary to remove a badly infected uterus.  Obviously some puppy mill had bred the life out of this dog squeezing the last possible dollar out of her and then discarding her like trash.  Eventually she came home and one day she met me at the door.  Progress was slow but steady and I knew I’d have to find her a home but who would want a crippled, sickly dog that might require more medical care along the line.  It was Christmas and I was hoping but not expecting another miracle.  A miracle did arrive form of a wonderful couple who took Yorkie Yay into their home to live with others of the same breed.  Today she scampered up and down stairs and smiles that special Yorkie smile.  What value does one life have?  I personally paid the bill for this dog which wiped out my Christmas budget.  There are many things that bring happiness and that year she was my gift, for everyting else there was Master Card!

At a veterinary office one day there was a frantic woman and two children with a beautiful Spitz dog which was obviously in distress. She was in labor, and she whined pitifully as her black eyes searched for someone to help her. She was turning to her human friends knowing they were the only ones to save her and her family. Two puppies had been born dead, and a third wedged in;; the birth canal would seal her doom if the veterinarian did not help her. I have heard it hundreds of times. The veterinarians have invested time, money and effort into their profession, and they must charge for everything. While some do help behind the scenes in needy cases, many do nothing. As the family sobbed out their story to the desk clerk, the owner was told to remove the dog as the woman was unable to pay for its care. Being a bit snobbish myself, I asked why she hadn’t gotten her dog spayed. I was not expecting the story. The dog had been left with her by a friend who never returned. The family had grown to love the dog and tried to get it spayed at the spay mobile, but there were so many people there ahead of her, hundreds. Many of the people in line had driven from affluent areas of El Paso for the free bargain. She was unable to get to see the vet until three weeks later. By then the dog was too far pregnant to spay. When the dog went into labor, she encountered problems.

The mother loaded the dog and kids in the car and went to the vet. Weeping, begging, pouring out her story, she pleaded to let her pay the charges over a period of time, but to no avail as each turned her away. Playing somewhat of a big shot, I guess, I said I’d accept financial responsibility for the dog if she failed to pay. Still a flat “no”. Knowing the dog was dying and being a true humanitarian, I got out my credit card and said, “Save the Dog”! The mother and one puppy were saved. I felt this was one more behind the scenes thing we do while everyone else gets publicity that assures them donations and respect. Many pet owners wouldn’t have been grateful or appreciative, but this family was. I instructed them to bring the puppy to me in 6 weeks and turn it over. During that interval, Pet Guardian Angel received “thank you” notes from the children and mother. The puppy and mom were brought to our adoptions to admire. At the end of the six weeks the children, weeping but keeping their word, presented a pure white, adorable, healthy puppy as agreed. I decided to let them keep it and was rewarded with hugs and kisses from everyone including the puppy. Dr Robert Colvin did all the work on the puppy without charge. There is much to be said about veterinarians who do good when no one sees it. I found out also the children of this family have a rare blood disease which saps extra money from their resources. Pet Guardian Angel now has a benefactor who considers needy cases on a one by one basis to assist with emergency vet bills. There are rigid requirements to apply.

One evening , friends of 15 year old Harry pick  him up for a joy ride.  They are giggling and a little high  and decide to leave Harry in the desert as a prank.  Harry is the unwilling participant as they drive down  unfamiliar roads and shove him out of the car, barefoot and wearing only shorts he finds himself in the loneliness of the desert. He has no idea where he is and reasons he’ll be better off to sit and wait for them to return.  Hours pass slowly.  He shivers and his heart pounds, bugs bite on him as he slaps them away.

Scorpions scamper over his feet.  He trembles in terror as he make out the outline of a wild animal in the bushes.  As he shivers he urinates from intense fear.  Still he waits, having faith his friends have become lost or broken down and will soon return.  The sun comes up and the light and warm rays sooth his anguish somewhat.  He is scared beyond belief . He makes a decision to try and save himself so driven by hunger, thirst and instincts, Harry knows he is on his own and sadly he starts down a  road where each step is painful.  He spots a vehicle approaching and his spirits soar. He steps onto into the center of the road so he will be  visable but realizes it isn’t the right vehicle or color and they are not slowing down.  As he clammers to get out of their way they depart, yelling profanities and tossing a beer bottle out the window. They have come close to running over him.  He weeps inside and thinks about home and his family.  Boken glass pick at his feet and dust billows up into his nose mesquite thorns pick at his shirt and he realizes he is bleeding and thirst parches his throat and he knows he is dehydrated.  His head spins from the ordeal. Walking endlessly he spots civilization in the far distance and quickens his painful pace.  As he approaches the house a door is flung open and an  angry man appears stepping outside, he sees the man is scowling and holding a can of beer which he flings in Harry’s direction.  There is no doubt about the man’s intentions, he wants Harry off his property right then and they need not communicate in the same language to understand each other.  Harry is now on a country road and he figures it leads to a highway.  There he has seen tiny distant images of cars through sweat and tear stains on his face.

Perhaps he can locate his friends or someone to help him.  His journey has taken him in a ciruclar pattern and he is exhausted from exposure, he must get help soon.  Now battle scarred and frantic he makes his way short cutting through mesquite bushes and goat heads as he limps to the highway.  The winter winds whip around him and he is aware of the chill.  Finally he crawls onto the highway believing a car will stop and help him .His mouth is so parched he feels he cannot scream He crawls two more feet, he reasons the cars are not seeing him so close to the ground.  Screeching brakes and a thud send Harry careening into the bar ditch screaming in agony.  He dies there with no loving arms to ease his pain.  This story is fiction for a boy named Harry but it is very real for doezens of abandoned pets that die every  month in this area in this manner.  Some die of thirst, some torn apart by wild animals, some simply lay down and give up or are hit by cars that don’t bother to stop.  Pets can never believe that terror like this is intentional.  Believe me there is no thought given to the fate of the previously pampered pet which is tossed aside on a farm road.  If you have abandoned a pet you are the lowest form of human.  Pets have no Lone Star or Visa card to bail them out of their problem.  People are skeptical of their actions and avoid them often throwing rocks at them.  There is no water supply.  It is more humane to accompany your pet to the vet and or pound and have it put down than to discard it beside a road or in the desert.  You now know how an abandoned dog dies.

When you or I meet someone for the first time we show manners by shaking hands.  Other countries kiss on the cheeks etc.  With animals it is a whole new world.  Animals greet every new comer into their circle by sniffing them.  It is correct protocal for the dog to want to sniff you and sometimes it is a little embarrassing or annoying but to the dog it gets all the information it needs from this act which  is deemed the very best of doggie protocal.  From this moment on the brief sniff will renew the first meeting.  People think when dogs come running towards them with tails wagging they want to play but play will come second to the introduction of sniffing.  Dogs sometimes do other things that make us gag or offend us such as eating feces or rolling in disgusting things rubbing the odor onto their own bodies.  These are kick backs from the wild and no one can be absolutely sure why either takes place.  Perhaps the rolling puts the smell of a larger more fearsome animal onto their body to scare off preditors or opposition we are not sure.

Eating of feces of their own is not clearly defined I believe if puppies are left with the mother dog 8 weeks she will teach them to go far from the den site or nest to do their business then leave it alone.  If Mom has had to fend for herself she might have picked up this habit to get nourishment and it is said in today’s better dog and cat foods there is so much nourishment left it tempts a dog to eat it for calorie content.  Whatever the reason it is not acceptable practice.  Most dogs can be disuaded by additions to their food such as chopped pineapple, monosodium glutamate, sauerkraut, worcestershire, are only a few.  There are special pills and things to add to the food.  Most dogs will eat from the litter box of cats regardless of how tidy they are otherwise so it is best to have a covered box or clean it immediately.  There is obviously something in the feces that appeals to the stimulation of desire in the dog.  Always remove poop as quickly as possible.

Feeding dry food and a bit of moist makes stools that are easier to collect and dispose of, even Pedigree advertises this and it is one reason most kennels are drawn to use Pedigree.  A kennel full of dogs with diarrhea is a terrible thing.  As for helping the nonprofit charities Pedigree does almost nothing  about donating free food or money to charities that are no kill I guess figuring dogs sitting around eating and not getting into homes quickly do not make them enough money.  When I contacted Pedigree or Hills about food and told them I had over 300 dogs plus cats in a no kill shelter they told me “we are not interested, you can call back if you change your status in a year:” which meant, start killing off dogs and cats and get out of no kill business if you want help from us.  PETA has the same attitude when I ran into trouble with a lease on my no kill 300 dog kennel, PETA told me to put them down and offered no further advice everyone should read the book Redemption about no kill vs kill shelters.  It just takes a little more time to find a loving home in most cases but economics plays a big part in today’s society.  It is reflecting our human attitude of getting rid of the sick and elderly and dealing only with the healthy productive.

Boneanza was huge male Doberman Owned by my in-laws.  He was a magnificent animal. My in-laws were elderly and his job was to protect the household.  One day two mean looking men came to the door and rudely asked for money.  My mother-in-law said she had none to give them.  One reached for the screen door handle and Boneanza appeared and he backed off with respect.  My monther -in-law then said, “by the way, the man who lives next door is a policeman and he works nights and sleeps during the day so don’t ring his bell.”  The men looked annoyed but continued past the next-door neighbor’s house and left.  Actually her neighbor was a frail 90-year-old widow.  In another incident she was driving on Alameda after dark.  In those days the cars did not have handy automatic door locks and the windows were down.  As she stopped at a traffic light Boneanza lay sleeping peacefully in the back seat.  A man approached the car and said, “Give me all your money.”  He branished an impressive knife.  She said, “I have no money.”  He immediately yanked open the car door and as he did Boneanza came to life and over the seat teeth flashing, growls and snarls.

The man started to run dropping his weapon.  My mother-in-law sped off not even bothering to report the incident.  When my farther-in-law was quite elderly he did not see or hear well.  They had never been cat people.  When Mr Williams started making remarks about cats in the house we all discounted this as elderly dementia.  What cat would come in with Boneanza there?  One day a visitor was sitting there chatting and a cat passed through the room.  As it turned ot the cat had had kittens in a cluttered corner of a storage closet and was going in and out the dog door.  The cat shared Boneanza’s food and water dish and came and went as it pleased for the rest of its life.  Boneanza had made a friend of a stray cat.  One Thanksgiving I prepared an entire turkey dinner.  We delivered the dinner to my in-laws placing it on the back of the stovetop.  When we got home the telephone was ringing and my father-in-law was laughing that Boneanza had clammered up on the washer and reached over and snatched the turkey.  They had Spam that Thanksgiving!

Maximilian was a mixed Lab. Shepherd.  He came to the family as a free pet from a neighbor.  At First a rolly polly puppy, he was readily accepted into the household.  Right away problems occurred.  He was not house broken and no one wanted to train him.  He chewed up a slipper and swung on the curtain.  He was quickly banished to the back yard.  At first the kids would go outside and play ball with him but he quickly grew into a gangling long legged young adult and lost his charm as a cute puppy.  He really enjoyed playing with the kids but they did not like him to jump up on them as he was growing as big as they.  Another smaller dog was taken into the household and Maximillan was ignored in the back yard.  He pleaded with the kids to let him come inside.  When someone would step out and shove a food bowl at him or fill his water dish he was so grateful for the brief human moment of shared visitation.  He tried very hard to fill his long days and lonely nights with his own entertainment.  He sniffed out bugs and chased birds.  An occasional cat was a bright spot in his day.  He continued to grow.  Soon he could barely peek over the rock wall.  All sorts of inviting wonderful things were out there.  Children on bicycles, other dogs, all sorts of scents drifited through the air inviting him to come paarticipate.  He begged even harder at the back door to no avail.  Then he spotted a mouse and dug up a good portion of the yard trying to get at it.  His owners were furious, their faces showed disapproval and for the first time he heard the word ‘get rid of’.  His hormones were starting to work too.

One day with only a slight amount of effort he found he could clear the wall and he was free!  Running frantically, so happy to see children again, so excited.  He found a romantic partner in a lovely female Lab.  His owners and her owner were not pleased.  He was then chained so he could no longer jump.  In an effort to tell the world he was really a good guy he began to bark.  He dug more.  He howeled.  Trips outside to see him were few and far between as he realized he was no longer wanted and the family was unwilling to let him go free where he was sure good things awaited him.  Maximillian was now a large, ordinay, mixed breed male dog.  Plus he was not neutered and this alone caused him to have the wander lust.  He is so lonely.  His only contact with people, brief encounter with the food dish and water bowl.  He is bored, lonely and unhappy.  His tail which once wagged wildly with glee lays mostly quietly now.  He had wanted so much to be loved, to please people.  No one admires him now, they only tolerate him.  One day he soared over the fence once too often.  He is taken to Animal Control and turned over, No one will adopt this dog.  He is in the category of unadoptable.  He has so many social problems he appeals to no one.  It is unlikely any rescue group would consider him with his size, unruly manners and lack of socialization.  no one has space and money to rehabilitate a dog which is not physically attractive enough to adopt even if an investment is made in training.  Every day hundreds of Maximilians die at various shelters, pounds and so on in El Paso.  Maximilian’s last conscious gesture is to try and lick the hand of his executioner.

Murphy woke on the other side
And wondered with casual glee,
Could it be that I have died
Yet this is all still me?
A man held the judgement book
A crown glittered on his head
Murphy squirmed and shifted feet
And stepped up fill with dread
“It says here you’ve sinned a lot
do you this deny?”
“No sir” choked Murphy piteously
and he began to cry
“You never went to mass at all
And gave naught to the poor
You hefted many a pint with glee,
All of this and more.”
Murphy nodded sadly and gave a sniff or two
“Yes tis so, I often drank and
seldom thought of you.”
But as the keeper read along
His finger came to rest
He stroked his beard and rubbed his chin
His fingers touched his breast.
Then he looked at Murphy, a pitiful
sight right then
And spoke in a softer tone
Of what his life had been
“It say you loved your animal friend
and walked him everyday
You never left him hungry
And fed many an animal stray
You gave your lunch to one such beast
on your way to work one time
And took this stray to be your own
Paying up his fine.
You wrapped him in your sweater
Though you were chilled yourself
And took what little food you had
Down from a barren shelf
You shared it with this creature
Of God’s you can rely
And gave of meager comforts
Rather than deny
You suffered barbs of chatter
From those who heaped on you
The insults of the choice you made
The things you had to do
No matter of your scrapping
And missing mass my son
It is by such simple mercy
My kingdom will be won
There’s a special place in heaven
For mortals who quietly give
A place of grace and glory
Where caring mortals live
Murphy, have you chanced to see
The picture of the lamb
That I’m holding near my heart,
This picture drawn by man
And in the good book does it say
I know of birds and such
So how folks treat my creatures
Matters very much.”
So Murphy passed the pearly gates
To live eternal life
Never to know the misery
Of ceaseless earthly strife
And as the gate behind him closed
He bent reverently to kneel
There was his special little friend
Trudging at his heel

Poem by Martha Williams

copy right 1988-2012